Alburnus Maior reloaded

I am a modern man. I understand the basic principles that govern society. I support people and ideas. I support progress, development and production. I support industry, I support the unequal distribution of goods. I support capitalism and the free market. I firmly believe that competition for limited resources is the only force that drives humanity forward, that determins the permanent evolution of mankind - the last remaining constant of our everthriving world.

I do not reject corporations as a concept. I believe corporations are the cornerstones of our entire civilization. What I do reject is corporations that lie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not troubled by the truths they are hiding, the mere idea of being lied to upsets me. I don't have a grudge against corporations that destroy the environment, that use third-world countries as sweatshops in order to manufacture their goods more cheaply or that lay off thousands of people. I have a grudge against corporations that don't have the balls to come out and say: "Yes, we kill plants and animals and we will continue to keep killing them until there is no wildlife left on this planet. We don't feel guilty for this as we feel technological advance and the development of an industrious civilization is a good enough alibi for all the damage we cause. And you can't do anything about it because, without us, you would starve, you wouldn't have any money, you wouldn't have clothes, cars or any household items - because without us you would die."

Yes, that is a cruel, but true situation, a brutal, yet accurate description of our current status quo. I don't mind cruelty as long as it is accompanied by honesty. It is only fair that people who cause harm have the courage to acknowledge that harm and assume certain responsibilities for it. I feel it is the right thing to pursue profit as long as you make that goal clear to everyone else. The means by which you achieve that profit are of no concern to me unless I am directly afflicted by any haphazardous measures you might take.

Given these premises, I have one question. Why in God's name do people still bother to convince me that Rosia Montana is worth saving?

...

M-am plictisit sa nu mi se intample nimic care sa merite povestit, disecat, comentat sau criticat.

Lovemarks

Like any consumer whore, i'm a sucker for well-designed brands. These are the brands I not only managed to relate to, in time, but which are also an allround constant of my life. These are the brands that surround me when I eat, sleep, work or go out. However disgusting I might find the entire corporate paradigm, I find myself all but a slave to marketing and PR departments of major corporations. I must consume and, when it comes to consuming, I have my preferences.

The Corporation

Zilele astea am vazut si revazut The Corporation. M-a marcat destul de serios. Adica, nu doar ca e depressing sa aflu ca sunt indirect (sau poate direct, intr-o buna zi) de corporatii. Nu doar ca e frustrant sa-mi spuna cineva in fata ca votul meu nu conteaza, ca politica e o fatada, ca politicienii sunt fantosele intereselor corporatiste. Ceea ce e cu adevarat deranjant e faptul ca se expune destul de frust, dar foarte lapidar, un adevar monstruos - suntem mintiti in mod deliberat cu privire la activitatea unor organizatii de oameni care, in mod legal si moral, ar trebui sa fie complet transparente, iar aceste organizatii ne vand produse care ne fac rau. Care ne omoara.

De la Fight Club incoace se spune clar si fara ocolisuri ca "we are being tricked into buying shit we don't need". Asta e deja un fapt cunoscut de toti. E esenta economiei de piata, e marketing e advertising, e manipulare. Nu stiu daca e moral sau nu, dar e o realitate. Ceea ce e imoral este sa construiesti campanii intregi de promovare a unor produse pe spinarea copiilor fara discernamant. Adica, nu vorbim de biscuiti cu Fred Flinstone sau Pokemon pe ambalaj. Vorbim de oameni care fac studii pe esantioane de mii de oameni despre cicaleala si se folosesc fara scrupule de faptul ca 60% dintre cumparaturile unei familii sunt facute la insistentele celor mici. Asta e infect. Masini de spalat, televizoare cu ecran plat, sosete, tricouri, orice este vandut prin apelul la copii, iar asta e ceva oribil. Adica, ok, pacaleste-ma pe mine sa-mi cumpar al cincilea televizor daca poti, dar nu-mi exploata copilul.

Pe langa asta, e vorba de mancare in care se baga tot felul de porcarii. nu ma refer la celebrele E-uri, ma refer la vaci carora le sunt injectati hormoni care maresc productia de lapte. In laptele si carnea animalelor se descompun substante care provoaca cancerul la om. iar chestiile astea nu doar ca se stiu, dar au fost dovedite in tribunale, corporatiile implicate au platit amenzi de milioane de dolari si totusi produsele se vand in continuare si ei castiga miliarde. Se ajunge la ecuatia cinica a lui Tyler Durden. Daca e mai rentabil sa fie dati in judecata si sa ofere despagubiri in afara tribunalului decat sa retraga produsele de pe piata si sa sufere grave prejudicii financiare si de imagine, atunci produsele se vand in continuare. E adevarat, capitalismul, piata libera, e o jungla si asta se stie de la Adam Smith incoace. Supravietuieste cel mai puternic, fara scrupule si cu maximum de compromisuri. Dar asta deja e prea de tot. Asta ca sa nu ma bag si in discutiile ecologiste.

Corporate responsibility is bullshit. Adica ce, daca organizeaza campanii de ajutorare a familiilor nevoiase, asta e ca un fel de plata pentru mortile pe care le provoaca, pentru mediul pe care il distrug? What the fuck do I care if they put brand new trash cans in the city if I can't breathe in the streets? E eternul exercitiu de imagine si de promovare. Look, we're killing you, but we're giving you free t-shirts with our company logo stamped on the chest in return - it's a bargain!

Recunosc, nu sunt chestii noi de fapt. Pur si simplu mi se confirma chestiile pe care le stiam asa, la un nivel de urban-legend. Probabil ca si tonul direct pe care sunt spuse fac ca filmul sa aiba impact. Nu ma amagesc, probabil e un film facut pe banii unor corporatii concurente ale celor pe care ei le injura. Dar sunt niste fapte care raman. In conditiile astea, vorba celor de la Kaiser Chiefs - I predict a riot.

Autumn drama

A trecut prima zi de toamna. Si a doua. Si a treia. Mi-a cazut prima frunza in cap si m-am mirat. Cred ca, usor-usor, pe masura ce ma afund in diverse alte treburi, incep sa ma si intorc un pic in timp. Acum ceva timp imi creeam mereu ocazii sa ma mir. Era activitatea mea preferata. O vreme nu m-am mai mirat, cred ca devenisem un pic imun la lumea inconjuratoare, greu ma mai atingea ceva. Acum incep sa ma mir din nou. De nimicuri, de maruntisurile pe langa care toti ar trece fara sa clipeasca. Eu ma opresc si ma mir. Si-mi place sa ma mir.

As vorbi despre practica de specialitate pe care am inceput s-o savarsesc intr-un cabinet de avocatura, dar n-are sens. Prefer sa vorbesc despre planurile mele. O sa scriu. Nu doar in blog, ca aici nu mai scriu asa des ca altadata, ci in doua reviste. Una apare pe hartie si isi zice Level, cealalta e momentan in reconstructie on-line si isi zice Oricum. O sa scriu despre noul meu hobby care imi mananca prea mult timp, Magic: the Gathering.

In rest, multa bere, multa plictiseala. Noroc ca am din ce in ce mai putin timp liber. Daca as sta sa adun si orele pe care le petrec invatand pentru reexaminarile de luna asta, deja e sumbru. in schimb, am dat, prin bunavointa unui prieten, de o melodie care mi se pare cel putin geniala. Prin mila Domnului si a lui Lazyboy, si-au croit drum spre timpanele mele niste mari adevaruri are societatii contemporane. Si cum asta era, candva, un alt hobby al meu (ma refer la privitul critic catre societate), uite ca fac inca un pas inapoi in timp. Versurile - mai jos.

Underwear Goes Inside The Pants


Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.